me being me

i'm sick of the traffic jam on my way to and fro work. so today, i managed to find ways to reduce the risk of me getting older quickly or dying inside my car. what did i do?

1) i bet diyana love this! we all aware and notice and acknowledge that motorcyclist always annoying us on the road. they think that their mak bapak built the road (to the very well behave motorcyclist, please forgive me). i just dont understand why they couldnt que or go to the very end of the left lane (not on the emergency lane) and use that as their route. do not honk unnecessarily to tell that you want to pass in between cars. nasib la kan...who told u to mencelah.

so, as usual, the traffic jam always bad infront of ioi mall and from a distance there is one stupid mamat honking. well, me being me, i dont know why i'm so so annoyed tonite, i calculated the speed and distance of him and by the time he wanted to pass over me, i quickly block his way. and yes he shouted "oiii bodo ka" and yes i replied with no voice but for the first time ever i'm picking my nose in public and most importantly on the road and i'm showing my act right in front of him.

astagfirullahalazim....padan muka he deserved that from me! and i notice the car next to me showing me the thumb's up! and if the condition permits, i think she would give me a standing ovation hahahahahahaha

2) it will make you calm and happy trust me. whenever i hit the brake, will not move. easy to say i make my self as a robot or mannequin hahahahahahah. try this, you will feel very much happy throughout the jam. and i'm really looking forward for what pose i can do at the next stop keh keh keh

misteri hampir terungkai

today, aku sakit perut lagi...aduhhhh tension gile kari babas. last nite, managed to reach home a bit early right before maghrib. there, in front of my entrance stood two of my nosy neighbors. one was the aci and the other one was the ah so. they cornered me before i can reach my door safely.

ah so: ini hali balik ceepat aaaa

me: ya la...jalan talak jem

aci: susah mau tengok addek balik cepat

me: haa haa haaa (laughing not very sincerely)

at this point, i'm thinking one brilliant question to ask them. they have live here since the opening of our apartment. and i ask them this question.

me: sebelum saya duduk ini rumah, ada brapa org sudah sini duduk?

they both speaking in unique language that i can hardly understand and the ah so answer my question. a very long answer. she definitely can make a movie out of it.

ah so: lu olang kedua duduk sini. dulu aaa....ada satu melayu family tinggal sini. dia ade lua olang anak. lua lua lelaki. the eldest aaa lebih kulang lu punya umur, 23 tahun (i kid u not with this answer). yg smallest enam atau tujuh taun. tapi manyak sedih ooo...itu eldest son aaa sulah mati dalam lu punya lumah oooo...heart attack la saya ingat. (ok....my whole body are shiverring) . tapi aaa...saya punya kawan ada celita. dia punya anak kelija itu kajang hospital, dia ada celita ini budak mati bukan heart attack, tapi kina calun.
me: calun? calun apa? ah so: haiiyaaaa...itu calun laaa...poison....

me: oooo racun (eventhough i'm shiverring, i managed to giggle)

ah so: itu kecik punya budak pulak ooo mati kina asma...tapi oooo sikit pelik, itu body aaa, dia punya familiy takde bawak balik ini lumah. dia kata aaaa, sulah antar kampung. tapi aaaa...saya punya sedala (banyak pulak la dia ni kaum yg bole jadi spy) celita aaaa...dekat kampung aaa...dia mana ada kampung. dua dua sini punya olang. talak tau la mana itu budak kecik dia sudah tanam...(hmmmm ok......i think i'm going to spend all my nites at my friend's)

then i received a call from fadli...but weirdly fadli didnt answer me....and he keeps on calling and calling and i ignored more enough to make both of my nosy neighbors irritated.

aci: angkat la itu call me: you sendiri tengok kan..saya angkat dia tak nak jawab

in my heart talking talking...pelik la plak mamat ni. and i look at my watch it's already 15 minutes past maghrib...erksss...my phone keep on ringing again and again eventhough i decline to take calls. it's ringing again and i notice....damn it was the alarm and i did fell asleep. it was all only a dream.

could it be a clue?

mana aiman....

referring to the above title, start in your head the twilight zone's theme right now until the end of my posting.

i'm not well today, got cirit birit starting from 4am until 2pm lebih kurang. i lost all the fluid and got very hungry. i gather all my courage to step out the house to find food, not medicine or even go to the clinic.

when i step out the house, my neighbor (chinese aunty) pun step out from her house too.

aunty: aiii..ini hali talak keleja ka?

me: talak la aunty...sakit pelut

aunty: mana lu punya adik...atau lu punya anak....lu sudah kawin ka?

me: (so confuse tahap gaban...wtf) haaaaa...laki ka pelempuan aunty?

aunty: budak kicik, lelaki la...selalu pitang main lepan lumah....eman ooo nama lia 'eman'

me: oooo...sulah hantar kampung (and quickly went to the mamak right behind my apartment)

hmmmmm....if you remember my posting from my previous blog, is this story connected? first, 'he's' singing and come and go from my house sesuka hati, now 'he' got a kid. very advance la 'he is'. or do i have a twin that i cannot see????

now you may end the twilight zone's theme from your head...

jjcpl ke kg kkk (episod 1)

pada cuti menjelang sambutan malidur rasul yg lalu aku dengan bangganya telah memaksa 'mat seni' membawak aku balik ke kampungnya iaitu kg. air tawar, besut. bnyk citer nak citer tapi aku select among the best je nak bagitau kat sini.

on d way ke besut, kami singgah makan kat gerai yg mcm kat r&r tapi tak berapa meriah yg hanya beratapkan bumbung zink yg panas di kawasan gua musang serta menghidangkan masakan kampung penduduk kelantan. rasa masakan kat situ not bad tapi harganya masyallah......can die u know. bayangkan aku hanya makan nasi sepinggan, ikan kembung ada la besar dua jari, sayur takde, kuah senggang kosong dgn sepotong kecik telur dadar dan minum kopi ais. manakala mat seni makan sepinggan nasi, sikit ulam, sepotong ikan dari kuah senggang, semangkok sup perut yg tak berapa sedap serta teh o ais. kalau la menu mcm tu makan kat kedai belakang opis aku, mau kena paling mahal dalam rm14-15. tapi kat gua musang tu kitaorg kene ngam ngam 20 hengget. punya la aku terkejut beruk. rasa mcm nak bakar je kedai tu.

(selepas makan)
aku: gile babi tahap babi kene sawan babi mahalnye makan situ.....aku rasa nak bakar je kedai tu

mat seni: memang la mahal makan kat situ. aku dah pernah terkena. member aku berhenti makan kat situ pun kata mahal giler.

pada mulanya aku mmg la rasa nak marah kat tuan punya kedai, tapi selepas dialog ini, aku rasa nak karate tengkok mat seni sbb dia dah tau tempat tu mahal tapi dia bawak jugak aku makan kat situ...argggghhhhhhhhhhhh

kegemaran ku

aku tak tau la...siang malam dok terngiang ngiang lagu dan karakter citer ni..best gak layan... wonder pets wonder pets kami datang hahahahahaha. enjoyyyyy

sama tapi tak serupa