i hate u diyana

i'm in kepala batas, penang rite now from yesterday until this coming monday. so last nite, got nothing to do, i go walkedie walk around my hotel and find out one corner full of fruit vendors. i look around and found one particular fruits. so, konon konon i want to be friendly with the vendor, i make la this conversation.

me: bukak sampai pukul brapa bang?

the vendor: ("apa ko peduli?"-dalam hatinya berkata kata) kalau dah takde org saya tutup la bang

me: (pointing at one particular fruit) ehhh...buah tu, saya tau. tu buah diyana

the vendor: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (with a very confuse look)

me: ye la...rasa dia masam manis. buah diyana la tu

the vendor: abg datang dari mana?

me: puchong (with a very proud looking look)

the vendor: ooooo org kat puchong panggil ni buah diyana ye ( i can see he's trying not to laugh at me). kitaorg kat sini panggil buah setar ataupun kundang

me: (OMG...dem u diyana. once again u managed to corrupt my innocent mind) errr....a'ah...tu memang buah setar atau kundang heh heh heh....tadi kepala dok pikiaq benda lain.

dem u diyana. why la u always like to brainwash and corrupt my innocent mind. first, u make me confuse on how pregnant lady suppose to look like and now this buah kundang. tu la ...suka sangat sebut dan makan buah kundang depan aku....i hate u diyana. next time u preggie keep away from me huhuhuhu

i'm an Einstein?

few of my closest friends already knew this story. latest incident in my office bring back this old memory when i was in secondary school.

the flash back happened when one of my colleague asking where the hell was our weekly meeting file. seems nobody answering her, and my nature is to answer question instantly without even thinking whether the answer is right or wrong, i answered her. "farisha yang ambil..." i said. "huh...who the hell is farisha?" she ask me, " i donno" hahahahahahaha...there is no one name farisha in our office or in our putrajaya office. i just made it up since i dont like questions not to be answered.

when i was in secondary schools, 15 minutes before our math class is over, and it always at the end of school day; the legendary fierce math teacher always ask us to stand on the chair and answer his 'kali-kali' or 'darab'. whoever fail to answer him, will stand on the chair until 30 minutes the school is over. so, me being me, i always managed to answer his deadly kali kali question whether my answer is right or wrong. i just raise my hand, answer his question and walk out the class. 99.9% of his question i never answer it right. i always managed to get out from the class with the same method. at that time, i wonder how he's not knowing that i answered him wrong. now i knew, he probably just killing his own time, or he may find that i'm annoying him hahahahahaha

bodo dan bab1

hang ingat hang baguih dan chantek sangat?????? aku tanya hang pagi-pagi korang jawab dgn bongkak dan sombong bodo. aku mintak korang tolong aku korang bagi alasan macam-macam. ari ni korang pulak mintak aku tolong buat keje kuli korang. korang ingat, aku kuli korang? korang dgn aku sapa besar lagi? tapi nasib baik la aku bukan jenis bodo macam korang, aku tolong jugak buat sbb walaupun mulut aku ni macam puaka pulau pisang, tapi hati aku ni baik dan aku ni masih lagi ada sifat perikemanusiaan.

kalau macam ni la perangai korang, tiba masa kalau tapak kaki aku masuk dalam mulut korang, korang jangan menyesal.


p/s this posting is not intended to my dearly frens (you know who u are)

Beware

if u love your child dearly, please be aware of this man. do not let him near your child or he will bore your child to a very frightening nightmares with his never ending slow phase story telling skills. don't said that i dont remind you guys...

i'm a role model?

first of all, dont get confused with this posting. i know i'm not perfect and i'm nobody. and i do not having any intention to participate in the america's, canada's, britain's and australia's next top model.

back from work yesterday, in the lrt; as usual pack with passengers. right at salak selatan's station, inside of the lrt becoming more spacious for me and others to breath. i was busy smsing until one form 1 student (i think) come a bit closer to me. i noticed he was staring right at me and my handphone. i dont even bother with what he was doing until the lrt come to reach bandar tun razak.

"handsomely great looking bro, i'm sorry to bother you. why u taking this lrt. by looking at you, you should have a driver and be in the limo right now or perhaps maybe if u dont have a driver, you sould drive your own latest BMW - and the BM conversation from this kid was : abg, lawa la henfon. nanti saya besar nak keje la mcm abg. nanti bole aaa pakai henfon mcm abg"

i was so stunt at that time. i wish i could reply to him "dek...ko jgn jadi mcm abg. nanti ko menyesal. baik ko belajar rajin rajin dan jadi la org lain. ko tak tau apa bala malapetaka yg melanda abg dek oiiii....baik ko tarik balik kata-kata ko tu" instead i replied to him as any normal human being "adik belajar rajin-rajin, sekolah pandai pandai nanti keje lagi baik dari abg adik bole dapat dan bole lagi beli henfon lagi canggih"

the boy smile happily like i was giving him RM1000.00 in cash. he got down and waving at me. what a ride!

16 things i am forced by diyana to let the world know about me

referring to the title, i have to tell you guys 16 things u need or need not to know about me. (dem u diyana, dem dem dem)

1) when i was 6-14yo, i must eat white rice with kicap tamin and fried egg for lunch. if i dont have it, i will burn the whole kampung

2) i have been hospitalized for 3 days without the whole family knew about it. they just assumed i'm with my penyangak frens participating in our usual missions. it was a week before SRP

3) i was a tough kid with no tears coming out from my eyes even when my grandpa (he's a kap lam ya nga decendent with british army rules) beat me with his rattan tongkat kaki tiga or with a hard leather belt. but now, i'm a cry baby when my heart been broken by........

4) if u dont have any money or luxury things to give me, just take me to any great restaurant or cook me a perfect meal. that will do

5) i'm a baby/lil kid's love-hate magent. they will either love me or hate me for no reason

6) if u r nicer to me, i will be nicerestest to u har har har. if u f****d me, be ready to face me as a very evil demon

7) when i'm out and u see me, do say hi to me. i didnt notice anybody i knew out there coz i always mind my own path and business

8) when i have nothing better to do, i always dreaming wheter i'm a successful and rich actor or a surgeon

9) i'm a good cook

10) if u want me to curse u happily, by all means please suprise me or cucuk my waist. my favorite cursing word is rhyme with 'pantai'

11) i hate back stabbers

12) i was naib johan pertandingan azan in perak (kategori sekolah agama rakyat) when i was 8 years old. and the only debate candidate to represent my school.

13) i always love when people say that i dont look like what is written in my DOB. u will definitely see my hidung just like the jelapang toll's tunnel

14) i like watching HSM 1, 2 and 3 for my guilty pleasure heh heh heh

15) i dont like talking and be too close to others from 7-10am coz i'm not comfortable with my own and others morning breath

16) finally....the last thing u need to know....mmmmmm i can count on diyana and azman to supply me with kegirangan orang turki hahahahaha. i love kegirangan org turki

video klip jiwa kacau

when i'm berjiwa kacau, this will happen...tengok sampai abis kalau berani. if u got a weak heart, do not try to view this clip!

wednesday the 4th, what a day.....

i will definitely remember that day, Wednesday 4th of February 2009. traffic was very bad . i reached my area right after maghrib and shock to find that a few km away from my place, the jam was very bad. i was tired and waiting for my turn to pass the last traffic light. i was on the right lane but from 500m away, i could see that there are a lot of people gathering at the traffic light. but i couldnt see it very clear coz it's already dark.

as i was approaching the traffic light, i was shock to find that people were squatting down next to the traffic light basically hovering the right lane, so i quickly take the left lane to avoid hitting them and shock to see one youngster facing the other way, laying on the road with a pool of blood coming from his head. and, there is a pakcik shouting to him our all mighty's name and the shadah to the boy. i was only few centimetres away to hit them and if i do go out from the car, definitely i will step down on the blood pool.

my head feel very dizzy. i rush immediately to my home but feel hungry, stop for a while at my favorite burger stall but it took me nearly 7-8 minutes just to park my car on the perfectly empty big spaces parking lot. i couldnt think straight. probably still shock seeing too many blood.

while waiting for my burger i felt that there are 'someone' watching me from behind. i turn back and there is no body. got my burger and went straight home but still have that feeling that someone is watching and following me.

got down the car, i am definitely sure that someone is behind me. i turn my back but there was nobody. i feel kinda weird like gonna catch a fever. when i opened my front door, i can see from the corner of my eyes, there is someone watching at me but i couldnt figure out who he is. so i let him be...

as soon as i went in. my tummy feel weird. i got to go to the loo ASAP coz it is signed i have a bad diarhea. and yes i did. but not only that, i was vommiting at the same time with the diarhea disperse from tuuuut. it happened every 10-15 minutes. i couldnt sit straight, couldnt walk and couldnt talk. i sms my dad about what happened and he quickly called me and said "ada bawak sapa balik rumah?" huhhhh??? i was really doesnt know what he was saying, and then he explain again "ada ke sapa sapa yg ikut balik? dia tegur la tu" oooooo that was the thing that make me sick or maybe it just a coincident.

as i lay flat on the floor with no energy at all, i sms my colleage Raha (nice single female-plz contact me for details hahahahaha) to bring me some bread and 100plus. and she did. i would definitely die with no fluid in my body if raha did not turn up.

the pain and miserable end up right after subuh prayer, but the diarhea still continue until today...

during bday cimiki

this is really what happened during cimiki's bday......just click the pic for clearer pic and dialogue. i'm soriiiiiii hahahahahahaha

my long holiday sucks!

yup..my long holiday is sucks! tomorrow going to be the last day of the long holiday. but, i dont wanna go to work either. what i'm gonna do?

since i dont have anything better to do tonite, i present to u again my sis wedding pic. this time kinda complete event from nikah, majlis bersanding to majlis bersanding ala ala omputeh.